09 December 2009
22 November 2009
Meet Marley Marlow , the sweetest wine in town
Marley Marlot entered the room, everyone was drunk with jealously. She only got better with age, even Barbara had to admit to that. Across the room she spotted Bobby Bordeaux he was the only man to have squeezed her juices. Just at the sight of him the memories came flooding back, he had picked her up in a French restaurant back when she was just another wine on the rack. She poured her life out to him but all he was after was to pop her cork.
20 November 2009
03 November 2009
28 October 2009
penguin day out
Benedict jumped out of the pool, through on his dinner jacket and sat down for brunch , this was London zoo and not the North-pole after all.
03 October 2009
26 September 2009
05 September 2009
These are shit times
A: You have to click your heels three times, then you will go back home to Kansas, I'm sure of it.
B:Three times ? That's crazy Dorothy never had to click her heels 3 times, you are just making that up, ever since you had 3 birds poo on you in one day you have an obsession with this number
A: Well you have to admit the chances of three individual birds pooing and hitting me in one single day through out London is bizarre
B:Yes I admit it could be considered strange, but that definitely doesn't mean god is using poo to send you a sign just because your lucky number happens to be 3.
A: But don't you see my lucky number is 3 , it has been 3 as long as I can remember and a bird pooing on you is considered lucky isn't it.
B: Yeah I guess although I never quite got why.
A: Because its an amazing coincidence that a bird that is flying around at random and shits at random happens to hit you as you are innocently walking down the street, its nearly a miracle
B: It's not really like Jesus turning water into wine though is it.
A: Anyway but 3 birds pooing and hitting me at random through out the day must mean something, it's a sign I'm sure of it.
B: Yes a sign that you have been wasting too much time aimlessly walking around London, get of the streets, sit down and work that's what the birds are trying to spell out in shit in shit for you.
A: So you admit the poo is trying to say something.
B: These are shit times after all.
B:Three times ? That's crazy Dorothy never had to click her heels 3 times, you are just making that up, ever since you had 3 birds poo on you in one day you have an obsession with this number
A: Well you have to admit the chances of three individual birds pooing and hitting me in one single day through out London is bizarre
B:Yes I admit it could be considered strange, but that definitely doesn't mean god is using poo to send you a sign just because your lucky number happens to be 3.
A: But don't you see my lucky number is 3 , it has been 3 as long as I can remember and a bird pooing on you is considered lucky isn't it.
B: Yeah I guess although I never quite got why.
A: Because its an amazing coincidence that a bird that is flying around at random and shits at random happens to hit you as you are innocently walking down the street, its nearly a miracle
B: It's not really like Jesus turning water into wine though is it.
A: Anyway but 3 birds pooing and hitting me at random through out the day must mean something, it's a sign I'm sure of it.
B: Yes a sign that you have been wasting too much time aimlessly walking around London, get of the streets, sit down and work that's what the birds are trying to spell out in shit in shit for you.
A: So you admit the poo is trying to say something.
B: These are shit times after all.
03 September 2009
26 August 2009
24 August 2009
13 August 2009
05 August 2009
15 July 2009
02 July 2009
30 June 2009
I am Flower Pot
On Gertrude's request her body was turned into a flowerpot after her death so she could look after her prized roses after she was gone. She never did trust anyone else to look after her flowers.
27 June 2009
20 June 2009
18 June 2009
Das Blaue Wunder
June 16th 2009 Santa Monica US
Tragedy and shock has befallen the population of the Pacific Ocean as one of its largest inhabitants the Blue Whale who swam under the name of Freddy became the victim of a hit and run early this Tuesday. The 60-tonne Blue whale was hit by a speeding cargo ship and left for dead floating upside-down in the Santa Barbara Channel. The autopsy confirmed that Freddy died on impact with the ship which caused fatal injury including a broken skull. Local sea creatures are left confused and angry calling for stricter speed limits and proper shipping lanes to be enforced. A memorial service will be held at the grand coral reef this coming Tuesday, hundreds of sea creatures are expected to attend.
Tragedy and shock has befallen the population of the Pacific Ocean as one of its largest inhabitants the Blue Whale who swam under the name of Freddy became the victim of a hit and run early this Tuesday. The 60-tonne Blue whale was hit by a speeding cargo ship and left for dead floating upside-down in the Santa Barbara Channel. The autopsy confirmed that Freddy died on impact with the ship which caused fatal injury including a broken skull. Local sea creatures are left confused and angry calling for stricter speed limits and proper shipping lanes to be enforced. A memorial service will be held at the grand coral reef this coming Tuesday, hundreds of sea creatures are expected to attend.
17 June 2009
The Heart is a Lonely Hunter
It was an ordinary day. I was sitting in the corner of my local coffee shop sipping my black Americano staring out over the road towards the silent ocean which I knew lay hidden behind the glare of the electric city lights. On that beach 50 miles away was a young boy experiencing a similar uneventful day. With his back leaned up against a shabby cold ice-cream truck, his slow eyes fixated on a not so bright twinkle that shun between the competitive lights of the city. We would meet in about 3 years but at this point we just stared out into the world.
15 June 2009
12:19 Queens Park Books
Two women rush into the the bookshop and at high speed discuss the outrage of new text books prices and then with the same tempo calm themselves down with the fact that they are fortunate enough to be neighbours so their children can share the books. The state of equilibrium is restored.
09 June 2009
08 June 2009
LiebesBrief
Diego, mein Liebling,
vergiß night, das, sobald du das Fresco beendet hast, wir uns für immer vereinigen werden, ohne streit oder sonst etwas - bloß um uns zu lieben.
Ich liebe Dich mehr als je zuvor. Dein Mädchen Frida
05 June 2009
Ms.M on the 98
Oh my...I couldn't believe my luck, I am actually sitting on the bus next to Ms. M, the 98 going to Archway ahh thats not even a particularly fun route, nothing like the 189 or 332... hell the 332 takes you all the way to IKEA. Who would have thought she still needed to take the bus, I mean god she must have enough money to buy the bus inclusive the driver and just go on it for joy rides, god maybe she did buy the bus and I'm just free loading on her joy ride....WOW...wait what am I even thinking this is Ms.M of course she would take the bus...that's part of the reason I love her so much, she is so perfectly ordinary.
Oh sweet lord her hair just brushed my shoulder. What I would give to just be a single strand of her hair and be lucky enough to be attached to that incredible head of hers. Imagine planting your routes into those beautiful thoughts. I used to want to eat her brain just to get into her mind - I don't think that's necessary anymore, thank god no one likes a cannibal after all...
Oh sweet lord her hair just brushed my shoulder. What I would give to just be a single strand of her hair and be lucky enough to be attached to that incredible head of hers. Imagine planting your routes into those beautiful thoughts. I used to want to eat her brain just to get into her mind - I don't think that's necessary anymore, thank god no one likes a cannibal after all...
31 March 2009
Only Old Men Walk Away From Shark Attacks
A couple of nights ago I had a bizarre dream that I was dipping my feet into the ocean when I suddenly saw a massive fin flap out of the water , to my utter horror(and slight surprise) it turned out to be a massive Hammerhead shark on the hunt. Before I even knew what was happening the shark lunged himself onto the beach and started coming for me ,this was obviously a very slow attack seeing that he had no legs or arm to move him forward but on saying that me with my able limbs just threw myself on the floor and flapped around. Just as the shark was going to bite down on me I kicked him in the face which according to my dream crowd was a massive mistake cause that got him REALLY angry. However seeing that the shark was way to preoccupied trying to kill me he didn't realize that the ocean had completely reseeded and he couldn't roll back.
So there he was surrounded by a group of dream onlookers shrinking and shrinking(i presume because he was dehydrated) into a little prune like creature and before you knew it there stood a little old man in old man cloths (think Florida) and casually walked back to the ocean. I tell you the survival skills in these animals is phenomenal.
10 March 2009
03 March 2009
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